I never thought it would hurt this bad, a type of hurt I felt when I didn’t want to smile anymore and everything inside of me felt crushed, the hurt of a first heartbreak. It didn’t start off as a heartbreak but started off as a love that I thought was pure and deep. A love that opened my eyes up and let me see the good in everything, made me trust more, and made me happy. The love I felt started off good but rapidly got worse in time. After things took a turn for the worse, I began to feel hopeless and empty. I could feel my heart breaking and my body felt like it was shutting down. I didn’t want this, but it happened, he broke my heart.
First, the relationship started off great, it started off with what I call the “cupcake stage.” He made it easy for me to want to be around him, I loved being around him. I always felt safe and happy with him. Whenever I was with him, I was always smiling or laughing. I felt like I could tell him anything and he would never look at me different. He was my other half and somebody who I had a lot of trust in. I wanted to spend forever with him because I knew he would never break my heart.
Second, the relationship started to get bad. After giving him chance after chance, he started to become controlling, making me feel empty and like I was losing my identity. All the apologies he kept giving became burnt out and meaningless. I stopped caring about all the little things he used to do for me, feeling hopelessly numb. I began making excuses for the way I was being treated. I started thinking that being yelled at and crying myself to sleep was normal. Instead of smiling and laughing all the time, I felt sad and angry at everything. I just kept telling myself that things will get better, that no matter what he did, I still needed him. My heart filled with hurt, and it was then that I realized I couldn’t do this anymore.
Third, the relationship