The First Time
Kira Little
201404227
Cultures and Societies 298
Dr. Harling Stalker
March 16th 2016
What does it mean for one to lose their virginity? There is not one particular answer, for the answer is different for everyone, ranging between cultures and even within them. There are various different beliefs and meanings behind what losing ones virginity actually means to them, although its technical definition in most places is considered as having sex for the first time, to many people and cultures it doesn’t mean simply that, there is much more behind it. Since every culture has different views and interpretations on virginity, and most within the culture conform to those normative views, virginity becomes a socially constructed concept, and therefor a cultural object. A cultural object is something that has meaning behind it’s utility, it is something that is socially significant and doesn’t just exist on its own. Cultural objects are developed through our social world, by our social world, causing almost everything to become one in some way or another. Griswold (2013) Religion, age, culture, personal identity, and personal opinion are large factors in how one feels and the personal meaning behind virginity for each individual. It is commonly viewed as a part of a process, or an initiation into adulthood, but can range to something as insignificant as the simple process of engaging in physical intercourse for the first time.
However, before the question of what it is to lose ones virginity can be answered, one must to ask the question of what a virginity means in itself. In a study about virginity significance, carried out by Laura M Carpenter, a woman described her view of virginity by saying, “Unless his penis penetrates your vagina, you’re a virgin.” Solin (1996 p. 85) In another study done by Berger and Wenger in 1973, four fifths of participants agreed that a woman would lose her virginity “if her vagina was fully penetrated by a penis.” (p. 669). This concept of vaginal penetration by a penis means that gay and lesbian couples who don’t consider themselves virgins must have an alternate view on what losing their virginity means, so by including sex with the same-sex partners the definition shifts. (Elder, 1996; Hart 1995) A study done by Sanders and Reinisch in 1999 found that 41% of college students thought oral-genital contact was considered sex. As well as 81% of college students thought anal-genital contact was considered sex. With the consideration of the definition of “sex” being different for partners of different genders, the most common view is that virginity loss is the first time a person has what they consider sex -rather than specifically male-female penile-vaginal penetration.
Structural functionalism is a helpful tool in determining the place for the concept of virginity in society and culture, and seeing it from a different point of view. It is a sociological perspective that can be described as a theory that attempts to explain why society functions the way it does, and that everything we do in life is necessary for a functional society. This theory sees society as a complex system, and that every part of our society works together to achieve stability. Every social structure shapes the society as a whole. (Kimberly Moffitt) So since losing ones virginity is included in being part of everything done in day-to-day life, it then comes to fit in under the structural functionalism theory. A way that virginity can be viewed in light of this perspective is that in order for survival of the human race, people must reproduce. To reproduce means most often -yet not exclusively in todays society- to have sex, which in order to be done at all must at some point be done for the first time. Therefor loss of a person’s virginity is necessary for the society to function the way it does, and continue to do so. Nancy Kingsbury John Scanzoni (2009 p. 221)
Those being just a few perspectives, it is clear that everyone can interpret virginity loss however they would like. For instance, Laura M. Carpenter wrote in a 2001
study that the participants involved believed that about half (30) see virginity as a gift, just more than half (34) see it as a right of passage and just over one third (23) saw it as a stigma. Often media can promote an attitude where it is often thought that losing your virginity is supposed to be something special and cherished, and that one is supposed to give it to the right person. (Laura M Carpenter 2001) Romantic movies and novels like “The Notebook” and “A Walk to Remember“ are large contributors to this phenomenon. This leads to many people believing that losing it has to be perfect timing in the perfect place with the perfect person, an impossible task to achieve. When thinking of virginity as a gift one might think that it was very valuable, not only because it is nonrenewable but also because it is to be shared with someone else, and that it should be appreciated by the person it is shared with. The norm of reciprocity stipulates that every gift should be returned either by something in similar or greater value, which often is viewed to mean giving ones own virginity in reciprocation to receiving someone else’s, also making sure that it is properly appreciated by both sides since they are both sharing in the same experience. Another form of reciprocation, since ones virginity isn’t always there to offer, is the commitment of a long-term relationship. (Laura M Carpenter 2001)