The Christian Concept of Self Identity
The “self” in Christian terms deals with more soul and Christian virtues rather than our earthly possessions and what abilities we possess. In the primary texts, the concept of self-hood is explored and discovered through relations with other people, faith in God which subsequently leads to allegiance to one’s self, and turning one’s self inward to entail one’s past. Perpetua, Felicity, and Augustine were similar in that they were both on a journey to find themselves, however, Perpetua and Felicity found themselves by breaking away from their past while Augustine reconciled his past in order to gain a better knowing of himself.
Perpetua and Felicity provide excellent support on the Christian concept of self-hood. Perpetua and Felicity were two Christian woman from a northern African city named Carthage. During the time that they lived, the persecution of Christians by the Roman Empire was erratic and brutal. Both woman happened to be martyrs due to their beliefs in Christianity. This is important because it shows Perpetua and Felicity had an idea of their Christian “self” and stood up for what they believed in even though it meant that they could be killed. The passion of these two women is instrumental in demonstrating the sources necessary to achieve the fullness of oneself.
In The Passion of Saints Perpetua and Felicity, the concept of self is strongly portrayed when Perpetua proclaims her faith and demands that she must not be called by anything else when her father tries to argue with her. This is because this is who Perpetua truly is. Perpetua said, “No. So too I cannot be called anything else except what I am, a Christian” (Beek 3). This is extremely important when talking about the self because it shows Perpetua will not give up Christianity to become Roman. In fact, her drive is so strong to be Christian she refuses her father’s many pleas to give up and even gets baptized in the prison. Perpetua’s will to be Christian is an important source because it is effectively allowing her to completely accept God into her life. Through this, she is coming closer to the fullness of herself because she is letting her faith guide her. Even though she stands convicted, she refuses to renounce her faith and is willing to become a martyr for Christianity. This is one of the greatest examples of the Christian concept of self-identity. It is not because she says she is a Christian who makes her who she is, but it is because of the actions she takes to prove her allegiance to God and to herself.
Felicity is also of importance when discussing self-identity. Felicity was pregnant when she was imprisoned and had to give birth before her execution. While in labor she experienced pain and let out a scream to which a prison guard asked her how she was going to bear the pain when she is thrown to the beasts. She responded by saying, “What I suffer now, I suffer; but there will be someone within me who will suffer for me because I will be suffering for him” (Beek 8). In this passage it is being shown that Felicity is allowing her faith to engulf her in mind, body, and spirit which is essential in the Christian concept of self. She knows who she is and she will not allow her beliefs to be shaken. Felicities strong belief in Christianity is the source that is allowing her to come closer to herself as well as her Faith.
Perpetua and Felicity were very similar in that they both were detaching themselves from their past in order to live in the future. Both renounced who they previously were in order to embrace Christianity as their new life.
Next, Augustine is an important figure when discussing how one can reconcile their past in order to discover their “self.” While analyzing Augustine’s life and decisions it is important to look upon his past. Augustine was quite a character when he was younger. Such activities he engaged in ranged from stealing pears to immoral sexual behavior. It is interesting to note that Augustine also knew a lot about Christianity but never wanted to become a Christian because he didn’t want to give up his sex. Augustine is so conflicted at some points in Book VIII that he hammers his fists into the ground. He battles with himself and with his past. He says, “I was refusing to become your soldier, and I was afraid of being rid of all my burdens as I ought to have been at the prospect of carrying them” (Augustine 140). Augustine is preventing himself from taking the risk to be completely submerged by Christianity. His problem is that he can’t develop the Christian concept of self because he is too stubborn to give up on the vices that inhibit his spiritual journey. A pivotal point in Augustine’s story is when he reconciles his past under a fig tree. To make things clear, this is when Augustine’s concept of self becomes most pertinent. The fig tree is representative of the time he stole pears and therefore a symbol of Augustine’s past. Augustine has to sit under this tree and has to think about what he did in his life before he decides to make a change. He reads a letter from St. Paul and has an epiphany. At that moment he decides to convert to Christianity. This quick change in heart seems a little crazy to apply to the Christian concept of self-identity but in fact it has everything to do with it. Augustine knew all the facts about Christianity but was being prevented from converting because he wasn’t aware of God’s love. In Augustine’s heart, he knew he was a Christian and therefore needed to reconcile his path. Sitting under the fig tree was like his baptism. He gave up his past to start a new life with Christian meaning. This is important because Augustine finally develops a solid idea of his self-identity.