The Exploration of the Orgasm

The role of the orgasm in heterosexual relationships is significant in having a satisfying malefemale relationship according to society’s expectations. By using the malefemale binary, as well as exploring the social construction of sex, we can see just how significant the role the orgasm plays in heterosexual relationships. First off, we must understand that orgasms are achieved differently for both males and females.

Male orgasms are achieved through the male sex organ, being the penis. It has many nerve endings that are very sensitive. The female orgasm contains just as many of these nerve ending, but is a much smaller size. The penis is on average 5.5 inches, where the clitoris is about 1 inch. What is interesting is the actual act of sexual penetration in regards to orgasms. This act is perfectly constructed for the male to achieve orgasms, but poorly constructed for the female. The vagina is inches away from the clitoris, and is the primary body part involved in sex. Since the penis is penetrating the vagina, we see how it is easy for it to be fully stimulated and to reach climax. However, the female sex organ receives little if any stimulation depending on the position, which in fact makes it extremely hard for females to reach climax. It is also interesting to note that the act of intercourse itself ends not with the female orgasm, but with the male. Due to the biological make-up of males and females, the actual act of sex (penetration) is constructed around the male orgasm.

When exploring the role of the orgasm, we have to take into consideration complexity of the female orgasm. Society makes up certain stereotypes for males and females in terms of sexual relationships. Here we take into consideration the malefemale binary in terms of sex and emotion. Males are able to separate sex from emotion, where females combine the two. Therefore, the female orgasm is both physical and metal. Some females even go further and say that without both components involved, the female orgasm is extremely hard to achieve unless they are both physically and mentally involved with their male counterpart. This also requires most females to be completely comfortable with their male partner. Society on the other hand finds it acceptable for men to be sexually promiscuous, and this is a key factor for men to be able to achieve orgasm with a female partner, regardless of the feelings involved. Since men do not always understand the complexity of the female orgasms, it involves the female to be very ‘open’ with the male in terms of what is physically entailed to bring the woman to an orgasm. What is pleasurable for the male is not always pleasurable for the female.

Another key factor is society’s acceptance of masturbation for males, where it is seen to be deviant for females, since females are constructed as being the nurtures and therefore not promiscuous. Males feel comfortable in practising masturbation, thus knowing exactly what feels good for them and how to achieve this. Some females on the other hand find masturbation to be wrong or not lady like. Therefore, many women do not know how to achieve an orgasm. If a female is unable to bring herself to orgasm, it is very unlikely her partner will be able to as well, even if he knows how to bring other partners to climax.

The guest speaker that attended class on March 1st, Corey Silverberg, explained the importance of sex toys in exploring orgasm. These toys are designed specifically to bring females to climax, and many are designed to target the female clitoris. The integration of these toys into the act of sex with a male partner can help eradicate some of the obstacles involved in achieving an orgasm with a partner. The female will establish openness with the males by showing him she is open with her sexuality, and that she wants to get pleasure out of sex as well. Although, some males may feel intimidated by these toys, it is important that the females deconstructs society’s stigma that a man is not fully a man unless he can bring his woman to orgasm. Males must understand that he makes her feel good on his own and that specific toys simply help stimulate the clitoris so that both her sex organs, as well as his is being stimulated at the same time, which will result in orgasm.

The concept of the ‘gift exchange’ (where the gift is the orgasm) is when males feel that they must bring their female counterpart to orgasm first before they have an orgasm