Birthorder

Birthorder

Where a child places in the birth order can have an effect on how he sees himself. Research on birth order, sometimes referred to as ordinal position, shows that first born children are more likely to go to college than children in any other position in the family. Parents should attempt to help each child to see themselves as unique individuals and avoid comparisons with siblings or others.

The middle child often seems to have the most negative impressions of his lot in life. One approach to help middle children reframe things is to point out that in a sense they have the best of both worlds. They are the youngest to the older sibling and the oldest to the younger sibling. Therefore they are both a big brother/sister and a little brother/sister. Younger children always want to be able to do the things older siblings are allowed to do. And older siblings may feel that the younger siblings get away with things they were not able to when they were the same age.

Only Child

Pampered and spoiled.

Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.

Is center of attention;

often enjoys position. May feel special.

Self-centered.

Relies on service from others rather than own efforts.

Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way. May refuse to cooperate.

Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.

May have poor peer relations as child but better relations as adult.2

Pleases other only when wants to.

Creative.3

May have striving characteristics of oldest and inadequacy feelings and demands of youngest.

Likes being the center of adult attention. Often has difficulty sharing with siblings and peers. Prefers adult company and uses adult language

FIRST CHILD

Is only child for period of time; used to being center

of attention.

Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children.

Being right, controlling often important.

May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected.

Strives to

keep or regain parents' attention through conformity.

If this failed, chooses to misbehave.

May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged.

Sometime strives to protect and help others.

Strives to please.

SECOND CHILD

Never has parents' undivided attention.

Always has sibling ahead who's more advanced.

Acts