The norms that deviate on Mr.Grape is that as a father figure to the Grape family, but instead he did the opposite that he never played with his children, he never laughed or smiled when he was supposed to. He had severe depression which resulted in him to never show any true emotions to his family, he was around physically, but not emotionally as Gilbert told Becky. This later depression resulted in him hanging himself in the basement of the family home which impacted the rest of the family's life.
The norms that deviate on Bonnie Grape is that she is supposed to be the mother figure of the house, but instead her eldest daughter Amy has taken on the role of the mother hen to the rest of the family. Before the death of her husband she was described as the most beautiful lady of their town and most happiest, but since her husband’s death, Mrs.Grape put on a lot of weight even being called close to a "beached whale" by Gilbert. As she put on weight her children had to take care of her, because she couldn't go everywhere she wanted and was bed ridden for the last seven years of her life and now all the responsibilities she had to do as mother was put on mostly Amy and Gilbert.
The norms that deviate on Gilbert Grape is that he is now the man of the house or the new father figure to the Grape children after his father’s suicide. Ever since his father’s death Gilbert from the looks of it finished school, but never perused anything farther or left town because he had to take on a job to help feed his family. As well take care of his family especially Arnie, which most early males in their twenties do not do or not responsible to do. At the end of the movie it can be seen that Gilbert is about to leave town because of the amount of pressure put on him, but turns back because he knows he has to take care of his family and that he loves them.
The norms that deviate on Amy Grape is that she is supposed to be young woman on her own working, but instead she takes care of her mother and other siblings than having than have the advantage of going out and work after she got fired from her last job. Amy took on the role as the mother figure or "more of a mother" of the family when her mother couldn’t get around anymore because of her obesity and had to cook, clean, and take care of errands which Mrs. Grape is supposed to do instead of Amy who should be out pursuing her dreams or chasing a career she would like to achieve.
The norms that deviate on Arnie Grape is that he is supposed to have an education and due to his illness his siblings do take care of him, but he needs a care taker that keeps an eye on him all times. For his siblings it is hard for them to keep on Arnie to his constant moving around and not being able to stay in one place which also affects the wellness of their job. When Gilbert is working he has to bring Arnie with him and when he can’t keep his eyes on Arnie, Ellen who works across the street sometimes has to leave work to chase after Arnie to make sure he doesn’t climb the water tower. Arnie should be in school where he can learn and get a better education than having his siblings chasing after him all day while their at work.
The norms that deviate on Ellen Grape is that she is supposed to be enjoying her life as a young teenage girl, but instead she's working and feels enclosed with her family because she thinks at times that they can be an embarrassment to her. Most teenagers do have job like Ellen does, but also unlike most teenagers they do not take care of their family or support them with a job. The pressure of being a teenager, handling a job, school with her family can be seen when Ellen tries by trying to stop Arnie to go up the water tower while she is at work or when she doesn't want to be seen with them in public most events.
The norms that deviate on Becky is that she is traveling across the country with her grandmother and exploring it who she asked to do. Which most teenagers would not ask their parental guardians or travel the country, but instead pursue a higher education or a career after their highschool life. Another way it deviates Becky is that she is a child of divorce which caused her to move around as a child and moved back and forth between parents not being able to stay in one place which most children should not experience to pack up and move their lives around so often.